


Look Who Learned How to Use A Cell Phone

by Theyna_Shipper



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: About as chaotic as you'd imagine, Bisexual Frank Zhang, Bisexual Hazel Levesque, Bisexual Jason Grace, Demigods Have Cell Phones, F/F, F/M, Group chat, Lesbian Reyna Ramírez-Arellano, M/M, Mentions of Dr Who, Pansexual Calypso, Pansexual Thalia Grace, Pansexual Will Solace, Quarantine, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper
Summary: Hazel learned how to create group chats. She thought this would be fun. She was wrong.AKA the obligatory sporatically-updated groupchat fic with stupid ships.Canon compliant up to BOO. Pretend TOA doesn't exist. Take place ~6 months after the end of BOO.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Gwendolyn/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Piper McLean/Leo Valdez, Thalia Grace/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano (referenced)
Comments: 62
Kudos: 254





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy and comment with prompts. Who knows what direction this fic will take.

Hazel L created the chat "Demigods". 

Reyna R: Uh oh

Reyna R: Who taught her to use group chats. 

Reyna R: Guys this was the ONE thing you weren't supposed to tell her about

Hazel L: Why not?

Hazel L: It seems fun

Hazel L: I can text all of you at once! <3

Nico A: ...

Jason G: Hazel 

Jason G: You have so much to learn about technology

Hazel: And Nico knows better?

Nico A: Percy has added me to group chats in the past.

Nico A: It is not an experience I would wish to repeat.

Annabeth C: I'm sure we'll be nice on Hazel's chat

Annabeth C: RIGHT??

Percy J: ...of course

Thalia G: hey how do u get rid of the initials

Frank: Go to settings

Thalia: oh thats so much better

Percy: yeah they're so dumb

Jason: So Hazel, what made you decide to make this chat?

Annabeth: And who taught you how

Hazel: I just wanted to be able to text all of you at once

Hazel: Will taught me

Nico: He WHAT?

Will: wait guys I can explain

Nico: You better. 

Will: she said it was for homework

Will: she asked if there was a way to just send the assignment to everyone who needed at once

Will: I swear I meant well

Nico: You're on thin ice. 

Will: :(

Reyna: Aww Nico

Reyna: You made him sad

Will: you love me anyways

Nico: Dammit I do.

Jason: Awwww

Piper: Jason stop fangirling

Jason: I'm not

Leo: Sry man you definitely are

Thalia: guys if u dont shut up soon im muting this chat

Reyna: I 100% guarantee that most of us will have to mute this chat in the next 24 hours

Percy: Not me

Percy: I'm not a coward

Thalia: ur just an idiot

Jason: Hey

Jason: Be nice

Percy: Yes mom

Leo: Lol Jason is def a mom friend

Piper: I thought that would be Hazel

Nico: Nah Hazel is more like the responsible aunt who babysits you sometimes. 

Reyna: Wait so who's the irresponsible aunt who lets you do whatever

Annabeth: Thalia

Thalia: how dare you

Thalia: i raised you

Annabeth: And look how I turned out

Thalia:...

Nico: Does this make me the gay cousin?

Reyna: Nico you will always be the gay cousin

Reyna: You could be not related to someone and you'd still be the gay cousin

Nico: As if you aren't.

Reyna: I came here to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now

Thalia: will

Thalia: the gays are fighting

Thalia: us pansexuals need to stop them

Annabeth: Wait Thalia you're pan????

Piper: I thought you were Huntress?

Thalia: that doesnt mean i cant want to kiss people it just means i dont

Jason: Makes sense

Jason: But then why did you sign up

Thalia: reasons

Thalia: shut up

Hazel: See, we're having fun!

Annabeth: If you call Thalia telling Jason to shut up fun

Reyna: I personally find it very entertaining

Annabeth: You would though

Reyna: What's that supposed to mean?

Reyna: Annabeth?

Reyna: WHAT"S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????

Percy: Annabeth is doing homework

Percy: And I should be too

Percy: Goodbye my friends

Jason: Finally Percy is being responsible

Reyna: College changes people

Thalia: how would u know

Thalia: u havent started applying yet

Reyna: Yeah cus I'm taking a GAP YEAR

Reyna: So I don't lost my MIND

Thalia: u sound stressed

Reyna: Ya think

Reyna: Also I need to finish my legion term

Thalia: sounds lame

Thalia: this is why im greek

Reyna: That's not how it works

Thalia: whatever

Reyna: We're the only ones on anymore aren't we

Thalia: prolly

Thalia: unless frank is one of those people who just watches the group chat instead of saying anything

Reyna: That honestly seems like him

Thalia: well im being told that i need to prepare for the next hunt so good night

Thalia: i honestly dont know why im still doing this

Reyna: Do you mean that?

Thalia: idk

Thalia: gnight

Reyna: Night

Reyna:...

Reyna: Goodbye empty chat


	2. Kiss Marry Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel like writing a real fic right now. Enjoy more demigod stupidity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please like and comment with any prompts/request.

Piper: Hey guys 

Piper: Wanna play kiss marry kill

Reyna: And why would we do that, pray tell?

Thalia: omg rey who says 'pray tell'

Reyna: I do

Reyna: Jason does

Thalia: well yall are nerds

Piper: It would be fun

Annabeth: Oh hey someone should add Calypso

_Annabeth and Calypso to Demigods_

Thalia: welcome to hell

Percy: Thalia no

Percy: Welcome to a place where friends have a good time

Piper: Jason, kiss marry kill, Leo Percy Nico

Jason: Ummm

Jason: That's hard

Jason: You chose my 3 favorite bros

Frank: What about me :(

Jason: You're not my bro you're my friend

Frank: I'll take that

Jason: Kiss Nico, marry Percy, kill Leo

Jason: Sorry man

Leo: 

Leo: I thought you loved me

Thalia: to be entirely fair u stole his gf

Leo: I did not!

Leo: Jason broke up w/ Piper

Leo: Piper asked me out

Leo: Fair

Percy: Bro code man

Piper: Bro code is stupid

Jason: Annabeth, kiss marry kill, Percy Thalia me

Annabeth: Don't flatter yourself

Annabeth: Kiss Jason, marry Percy, kill Thalia

Annabeth: Sorry Thal I wouldn't kiss a girl

Thalia: not even to save my life :(

Jason: 

Annabeth: Thalia, kiss marry kill, Reyna Percy me

Thalia: thats easy

Thalia: Kiss Annabeth, marry Reyna, kill Percy

Percy: It's easy to kill me??????

Percy: I can't believe you love Reyna more than your old bff

Thalia: who in their right minds would turn down opportunity to marry rey

Thalia: just sayin

Annabeth: That's not very Hunter-ish of you

Thalia: yeah well im not a very good hunter

Thalia: for example im not supposed to have cell data

Thalia: and yet here we are

Reyna: I'm just signing on and I'm confused but flattered

Thalia: ooo Reyna

Thalia: kiss marry kill me Calypso Annabeth

Reyna: Kiss Annabeth, marry Thalia, kill Calypso

Calypso: I only just noticed this chat and apparently I'm getting killed?

Annabeth: It's just a game

Jason: Hey you can't marry Thalia

Reyna: I'd like to see you try to stop me

Piper: ooooo

Piper: I think I have a new OTP

Reyna: Shut up

Thalia: shut up

Leo: Lol their minds went the same place

Thalia: yeah to tell your gf to SHUT UP

Piper: All I'm saying is they said they'd marry each other

Thalia: ay im not blind

Thalia: shut ur face hole

Reyna: Wow you really like telling people to shut up

Thalia: its a specialty

Reyna: Nico, kiss marry kill Jason Percy Leo

Nico: Oh, that's easy.

Nico: Kiss Percy, marry Jason, kill Leo

Reyna: Ok that's unsurprising

Nico: I think Jason would make a better husband

Annabeth: :(

Jason: :)

Nico: Calypso kiss marry kill Leo Reyna Percy

Calypso: Kiss Percy, marry Leo, kill Reyna

Calypso: Leo kiss marry kill me Piper Jason

Leo: Kiss calypso, marry piper, kill jason

Percy: I'm beginning to think that Jason and Leo have some stuff to work out

Percy: Just saying

Leo: Pips, kiss marry kill Jason Percy Frank

Piper: Kiss Percy marry Frank kill Jason

Jason: Whaaaat

Piper: We've already proven we don't have good chemistry

Hazel: What's going on?

Hazel: What's with this chat?

Nico: Hazel kiss marry kill Jason Percy Reyna

Hazel: What is this?

Annabeth: You pick one you would kiss, one you would marry, and one you would kill

Hazel: But I wouldn't kill any of you.

Percy: That's just the game

Hazel: Kiss Reyna, marry Jason, kill Percy?

Percy: :(

Hazel: Look, I have to agree with Thalia on this one, I wouldn't turn down the opportunity to kiss Reyna.

Thalia: this chat is getting gaaAAYYYYY

Reyna: That's how this game always ends

Reyna: We still have plenty of straights

Jason: Percy, Annabeth, Piper, Leo

Jason: That's 4

Jason: Out of 12

Thalia: statistically unlikely

Thalia: all the romans are queer

Reyna: Lol

Reyna: I think its mostly bisexuals

Jason: Me, Hazel, Frank

Jason: Thalia, Will, and Calypso are all pan

Jason: Reyna and Nico are the gays

Thalia: do u have this all written down somewhere

Jason: No

Jason: I just remember

Jason: Because I'm a good person

Nico: Mom friend Jason Grace. 

Thalia: i barely remember my own name plenty of the time

Percy: It's Thalia Grace

Percy: I hope this helps

Thalia: shut ur mouth

Piper: If you give me enough time it will be Thalia Ramírez-Arellano

Reyna: I thought we were done talking about this

Piper: I will never be done with this

Nico: I'm not saying I'm not on board I'm just gonna tell you to plan their wedding quietly. 

Reyna: Nico how could you betray me like this

Nico: Sorry but I want to be your best man. 

Thalia: well youll have plenty of time to write that speech

Will: Babe leave them alone

Thalia: hey wills here

Thalia: kiss marry kill nico jason reyna

Will: Kiss Reyna marry Nico kill Jason

Reyna: That was fast

Frank: It's midnight y'all should be getting to bed

Reyna: Actually he's right

Thalia: :(

Thalia: ...

Thalia: wow everyone cleared out fast


	3. Happy Birthday Reyna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More demigod idiocy. My favorites or Reyna, Thalia, Nico, Will, and Hazel, so this fic will probably focus on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please like and comment!

Jason: Happy Birthday Reyna!

Reyna: How dare you mention that

Reyna: I told you that in confidence

Nico: FINALLY.

Nico: Reyna refuses to tell me her birthday. 

Thalia: omg rey its ur birthday???????

Thalia: ur 19!!!!!!

Thalia: our little baby is all grown up

Reyna: Shut up you're like 15

Thalia: the day before my sweet 16 

Thalia: come on

Thalia: and my emotional maturity

Reyna:...is that of a 12 year old

Thalia: oh you flatter me

Thalia: i have the self control of a 5 year old

Nico: At least she's honest about it.

Nico: But happy birthday Reyna!

Nico: If you'd told me I could have gotten you something :(.

Frank: :9

Frank: He's blowing a kazoo!

Reyna:...

Nico: Come on Will take me shopping. 

Will: ok babe

Piper: Uh oh you guys Jason is gonna start fangirling soon. 

Jason: Like you don't start fangirling whenever Thalia and Reyna tell each other to shut up

Piper: I didn't this time!!!!

Hazel: Actually she didn't.

Hazel: And Happy Birthday Reyna!!!!

Hazel: I will be crashing your house with cake sometime in the next hour. 

Reyna: Don't you dare

Reyna: If you really love me you will just leave cake outside more door. 

Thalia: too bad

Thalia: i dont love you

Leo: Uh oh Piper it looks like your ship just sank

Piper: It's just taking time ;)

Thalia: shut ur face

Nico: Don't say that.

Nico: It only fuels her. 

Thalia: i thought u were shopping

Nico: I can text while I shop. 

Thalia: whatever imma meet hazel to harass rey

Percy: Wait why are you even in Rome

Thalia: none of your business

Piper: ;) hm hm hm...

Reyna: Piper I will only say this one more time before I just clock you

Reyna: SHUT UP

Jason: OK that escalated quickly

Thalia: she pulls no punches

Thalia: literally

Piper: The harder you deny it the harder I ship it

Reyna: OK I thought Hazel and Thalia were joking but they're currently in my house

Frank: Wait I am on my way

Jason: ^

Nico: I'll be there in like 20 minutes

Reyna: This is like a surprise party but not

Reyna: A bunch of people just randomly showed up at my house

Reyna: This is like the Hobbit

Hazel: It's because we love you <3

Annabeth: Are you guys just sitting at Reyna's house texting this chat

Thalia: basically yeah

Thalia: the cake is still cold

_Annabeth changed the chat name to Happy Birthday Reyna!_

Reyna: Change it back you coward

Annabeth: No

Reyna: In that case I have no choice but to thank you all for the birthday wishes

Thalia: aww rey actually said something nice about us <3

Piper: IS THAT A HEART EMOJI

Reyna: THALIA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hazel: Relax Piper. 

Hazel: I am here and nothing is going on. 

Piper: Yeah well you are as romantically observant as a brick wall

Hazel: Then explain how I got a boyfriend

Piper: Well like for other people

Hazel: Wait never mind they are in the kitchen and I have literally no idea what is going on

Reyna: Shut up Hazel we're fine

Reyna: Wanna come in

Hazel: No I'm a little bit on Piper's side

Thalia: dammit we need a 3rd wheel to prove that nothing is going on

Piper: If you weren't into each other you wouldn't need a 3rd wheel ;)

Reyna: We need a 3rd wheel to tell Piper to shut up

Nico: I'm here

Nico: You're in the kitchen?

Reyna: Yeah

Nico: Wow Reyna and Thalia are definitely not making out in here.

Reyna: WE LITERALLY ARE"NT

Thalia: nico u liar

Reyna: (sent a photo)

Reyna: See?

Thalia: just getting ready for dinner

Reyna: That y'all forced upon me

Thalia: sorry but its ur birthday ur supposed to spend it w friends

Jason: How did it go from Piper shipping them to most of the people on the chat?

Piper: Because they BELONG together

Thalia: SHUT UR IDIOT MOUTH

Annabeth: I'm going count the number of times Thalia tell someone to shut up

Reyna: Most computers can't process numbers that high

Will: Wow

Will: Burrrnnnn

Thalia: actually i take it as a compliment

Hazel: Jason just got here!

Hazel: What took u so long

Jason: I stopped to get something

Reyna: This legitimately appears to be a party now so I am going to try to enjoy it so good bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thalia would totally be a lazy typer, fight me.


	4. Are Phones Waterproof?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More demigod idiocy

Calypso: Are phones waterproof

Calypso: I'm new to this whole technology thing 

Calypso: So

Reyna: OHMYGOD CALYPSO NO

Reyna: THEY ARE NOT WATERPROOF

Annabeth: Unless you're Percy

Nico: Didn't you used to date a mechanic?

Calypso: Perhaps

Leo: How many phones have you drowned since we broke up

Calypso: None

Calypso: I ASKEd first

Calypso: I'm not THAT stupid

Thalia: ok in all fairness i have drowned like 3 phones and i know they arent waterproof

Reyna: You can't say something like that and then not tell the story

Thalia: ok so the first time i was walking home in a rainstorm cus im too dumb for uber and i thought the purse my phone was in was waterproof but long story short it was not

Thalia: second time i was at the pool and it was in my bad and some dumb kid kicked my bag into the pool so NOT MY FAULT

Reyna: Was your bag too close to the pool

Thalia: shut up

Will: Okay, that brings today's count of "Thalia telling Reyna to shut up" to 1

Thalia: 3rd time; this one was exciting

Thalia: so im making soup

Annabeth: I don't like where this is going

Thalia: and the recipe is on my phone

Thalia: and im checking to see how long to cook it

Thalia: and then i hear a loud noise and i drop my phone in the soup

Thalia: so it didnt drown so much as it boiled

Jason: How can you afford to break so many phones?

Thalia: i have applecare

Jason: And you don't have me on a family plan? :(

Thalia: nerd

Reyna: Thalia how did you manage to raise Jason without killing him

Thalia: ok so like he was really dumb which somehow activates this "dont be an idiot klutz" override in my brain that makes me less dumb

Jason: Hey!!!

Nico: That actually makes sense, though.

Nico: But he grew up to be the smart one.

Thalia: shut ur face hole

Reyna: Be nice

Thalia: no

Calypso: I sincerely regret joining this chat. 

Reyna: But if you hadn't you would have killed your phone

Calypso: I could have just Googled it. I know how to do that

Nico: Then why did you bother us about it?

Calypso: Excellent question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of Thalia's phone stories is, in fact, based on my personal experience


	5. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was everyone's first kiss?

Piper: Everyone's first kiss?

Percy: Annabeth

Annabeth: Percy

Nico: ^Predictable

Will: Nico

Nico: Will

Percy: ^Predictable

Reyna: Gwen

Thalia: oooOOOOOohhhhh plot twist

Piper: Jealous?

Thalia: i dont think i need to tell you to shut

Jason: I didn't know you guys ever dated? 

Reyna: We've been dating for a month now actually

Reyna: But we dated for like 6 weeks 4 years ago

Nico: And you didn't tell us?

Reyna: We're only just going public

Reyna: Chill

Frank: Called it!

Jason: You definitely did not

Frank: Hazel can vouch for me

Hazel: Actually, I can. He called it.

Hazel: Also if we're still talking first kiss: Sammy

Frank: Hazel

Percy: big oof man

Jason: Dakota

Reyna: You guys were the worst couple New Rome has ever seen

Jason: We really were

Leo: Calypso

Calypso: Oof. Long time ago. Couldn't say

Will: Heheh

Piper: Some boy from one of my boarding schools, I think his name was Pete

Thalia: luke

Thalia: surprise surprise

Annabeth: Actually that's the first time you've confirmed my theories. 

Thalia: what theories u were like 5

Annabeth: I was 7

Annabeth: And I had eyes

Thalia: maybe in rEtRoSpEcT but you def didnt at the time

Annabeth: Oh please

Will: *gets popcorn*

Nico: So Rey, when do I get to meet this new girlfriend?

Reyna: You've met Gwen

Nico: Yes, but she had just been stabbed and I was telling her she should be dead so it wasn't the best of circumstances. 

Nico: I doubt she even remembers me. 

Hazel: Probably for the better.

Reyna: IDK, I'll introduce you eventually

Nico: You like triple background-checked Will after I told you we were dating, I deserve to at least meet her. 

Nico: I'll be in California next week. 

Reyna:...fine

Nico: :D

Nico: Gods, that looks disgusting.

Nico: I'm never doing that again.

Hazel: I think it's cute :D

Nico: It looks better when you do it. 

Hazel: Thanks!

Thalia: omg she is too pure for this world

Thalia: please baby never go on the internet

Thalia: please look no farther than club penguin

Reyna: She's not a child, Thalia

Reyna: She's a centurion

Thalia: yes but shes so iNNOCENT

Nico: I'm with Thalia on this one. 

Hazel: I can turn on safe search perameters and only go to Jason-approved websites if that makes you feel any better. 

Thalia: oh if jason sets it then its fine

Jason: What are you implying?

Thalia: nothing

Thalia: plz take care of her

Reyna: If all you guys are going to do is mother-henning I'm going to back to homework

Hazel: I need to too actually. 

Leo:^

Piper:^

Jason:^

Frank:^

Calypso: I don't need to but I want to

Thalia:...

Thalia: aLLLL BYY MYYSSELLFFF

Calypso: Thalia I swear to the gods if I come back to aNY spam from you there will be blood

Thalia: yes maam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any prompts for me???


	6. Valentine's day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I ever had a linear chronology I have forgotten it. Holidays happen as I choose to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the likes and comments! Please enjoy!

Piper: Valentine's day is coming up so y'all better know what you're doing for your special people. :D

Leo: uh oh piper are u trying to tell me something

Piper: No as daughter of Aphrodite it's my duty to remind everyone

Thalia: thats fake

Thalia: ooooOOOOHHhhhh look im the daughter of zeus let me tell you theres lighting outside

Piper: Wow OK

Piper: But yeah that is fake I just really like the holiday

Thalia: then u better do something nice for ur bf

Reyna: Wow now does not seem like the best time to mention that I broke up with Gwen.

Jason: Right before Valentine's day????? How rude of her.

Reyna: No, I broke up with HER

Jason: How rude of YOU.

Reyna: Why delay the inevitable just for an arbitrary date? Better for both of us. 

Hazel: You treat this like it's some kind of romantic equation :\

Reyna: Yeah and the fact that I do indicates that me and Gwen would never have worked out. 

Hazel: OK fair

Nico: Well you're handling this quite well.

Reyna: Yeah it wasn't serious or anything

Calypso: That's OK we can just watch romcoms and eat popcorn together on Valentine's day. 

Reyna: Awwww thanks sis. 

Hazel: Wait can I join I love romcoms

Reyna: No you have a boyfriend

Hazel: ;(

Frank: Babe you don't want to spend Valentine's with me???

Hazel: Look sweetie I love you but I also love romcoms

Frank: We can watch romcoms together <3

Hazel Ok <3

Thalia: ew please be gross on the other chat

Thalia: but im all by myself on valentines day too can i join the grls night

Piper: The Hunt doesn't have some sort of passive agressive romance protest?

Thalia: wow way to stereotype

Thalia: and yes they do and yes i will be skipping

Reyna: TBH it's a miracle you haven't been kicked by now

Thalia: its a pretty serious oath

Piper: Would you like her to be kicked ? ;)

Nico: WOW she's been single for like 5 minutes and you're already on this again?

Piper: I'm efficient

Piper: Sorry if I'm being insensitive

Piper: But you don't seem to upset

Reyna: Nah it's fine

Reyna: I mean it's NOT because me and Thalia ain't happening

Reyna: But yeah I'm not to upset about Gwen

Percy: Have we forgotten kiss, marry kill?

Percy: Bc I havent

Thalia: omG all i said was that shes kinda hot

Annabeth: You went a bit farther than that

Reyna: Anyway that was like a year ago

Piper: It was two months ago

Thalia: which was december, so a year

Piper: Aww look at them backing each other up

Reyna: We have a common enemy that we're going to murder but that's all we have in common.

Reyna: Also a desire to protect Jason. 

Reyna: And a love of dogs. 

Reyna: So actually we have plenty in common because we're FRIENDS.

Thalia: ^tru facts

Piper: Whatever enjoy spending Valentine's together take good care of them Calypso. 

Calypso: Yes ma'am. 

Piper: And by that I mean be sure to leave them alone plenty.

Calypso: Of course. 

Reyna: I'm considering changing my mind. 

Reyna: So I'm leaving before this gets out of hand. 

Thalia: same

Percy: Well with them both gone there's nothing to do 

Jason:...


	7. Doctor Who

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thalia and Will are Whovians.
> 
> I've been watching too much Dr Who lately, hence this chapter, but there aren't any major spoilers and most of it will still make sense even if you've never watched the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please like and comment! Prompts still welcome!

Nico: Will is making me watch Dr Who

Thalia: ur man has good taste

Will: OMG Thalia are you a Whovian too?????

Thalia: umm yes

Reyna: Oh yeah Thalia is making me watch that.

Thalia: whos ur favorite nico

Nico: I like Jack

Thalia: of course u do u useless gay

Nico: Hey

Will: He's objectively good-looking.

Thalia: bruh do you have any idea how hard it was for me to be in love w rose and 10 at the same time AND ship them super hard

Will: I DO

Will: I DID THE SAME THING

Thalia: have u 2 watched doomsday yet

Thalia: bruh i cried

Will: NO SPOILERS

Will: He just finished Eccleston

Hazel: Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on?

Percy: No

Piper: This isn't some modernity thing you have to know

Thalia: um i beg to differ

Nico: Then beg. 

Leo: Don't worry Hazel they're just nerds. 

Will: HEY

Thalia: lol yall are weak, ive been making rey binge and we're just starting with 12

Will: Not all of us have that much time.

Will: Technically I'm not even supposed to have my iPad at camp.

Will: So it's a dangerous game.

Reyna: She's been literally forcing me

Reyna: Not that I don't like it

Reyna: But she's way more eager than I am

Thalia: wait til you meet 13 rey ;)

Thalia: You'll love her

Piper: Wait... you two are having binge watch nights together??????

Reyna: Oh great

Thalia: here it comes

Will: Hey you two should watch with us sometime

Nico: Reyna and I might literally die from having you two nerds in the room together. 

Will: Aw c'mon

Will: It can be a double date ;)

Thalia: well we arent coming if ur talking like THAT

Will: Just kidding

Thalia: yea sure we can do that sometime

Reyna: I'll bring Hazel too for the sake of her watching some modern tv

Hazel: Do I get a say in this

Reyna: No


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How y'all holding up in quarantine? (If you are, like I am). Decided to come back to this fun fic to cut some of the tension. Please enjoy!

Jason: Reyna I need a platonic date for a school thing

Jason: Will you come to a dance with me?

Reyna: Why are you asking me on a gigantic group chat?

Jason: So that if you say no someone else will take pity on me and say yes

Reyna: Glad to know I’m so important to you

Jason: Hey you were my first choice

Reyna:...

Reyna: Ok I’ll wear purple be sure to match your tie

Jason: Lit

Thalia: oooohhhh a dance

Thalia: the last time i went to one of those was

Thalia: not stonks

Nico: Wait was that...

Nico: Um...

Nico: The military school.

Thalia: yea

Nico: And what is ‘not stonks’?

Piper: Oh that’s right Nico doesn’t know memes

Piper: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/stonks

Nico: That makes no sense

Thalia: ok boomer

Jason: OMG he’s literally a boomer.

Percy: LOL

Nico: But I’m gay

Thalia: still a boomer

Nico: This is downright homophobia

Thalia: never mind thats a distinctly gen z joke

Thalia: so a zoomer

Reyna: So who wants to go dress shopping with me?

Thalia: meeeeee

Hazel: How doyou have so much spare time?

Thalia: the simple answer is avoiding my responsibilities

Thalia: the complex answer is resigning from the lieutenantship and avoiding my massively reduced responsiblities

Hazel: You really don’t deserve responsibilites

Thalia: thank u

Thalia: wednesday @3, rey?

Reyna: Sure

Piper: It’s a date <3<3<3

Thalia: shut

Piper: :(

Jason: Can I come?

Thalia: no

Thalia: against the rules

Reyna: Bye see y’all

Thalia: byeeeeee


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are the demigods holding up in quarantine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, coronavirus has wormed its way into my fanfiction. Their quarantine will probably end before ours, though ;). Still taking prompts

Reyna: I can't express how glad I am rn that I took a gap year. 

Thalia: i cant express how glad i am that im a high school drop out rn

Piper: That's not really a good thing, you know. 

Thalia: i took a GED and a CHSPE.

Thalia: so i have nothing to prove

Thalia: anyway me n reyna are glad af. we dont have to take online classes so we can just make fun of jason

Piper: Wait why are y'all quarantined together?

Jason: We were visiting Reyna and didn't want to be alone so decided to extend our visit. 

Will: Jason

Will: It's just you, Reyna, and Thalia

Will: So you have a very important task right now

Will: Do you understand me?

Reyna:...

Jason: Aye aye, captain

Thalia:........

Reyna: What is everyone else's quarantine situation?

Nico: Hazel and I are in Texas with Will and his family. 

Frank: I'm in Canada

Calypso: I came with him because we didn't want to be alone I didn't have anywhere else to go. 

Piper: Leo is with me and my dad in CA

Percy: my mom didn't want me to come back to nyc so i'm in sf with Annabeth's family

Thalia: damn dudes this is crazy

Thalia: like we been through some crazy *stuff* but this is crazy

Reyna: What's weird is that we can't do anything about it. 

Piper: Let's talk about something else, guys!

Nico: Like the bees?

Piper: How about something more cheerful.

Thalia: absolutely not

Hazel: It's days like this when I simultaneously love and hate having created this group chat. 

Reyna: You opened this can of worms

Percy: now lie in it

Thalia: dude wtf

Leo: He's a fish

Leo: Clearly he loves eating worms

Percy: eXCUSE mE

Percy: I have only eaten a worm oNCE in my life

Percy: plus the time Thalia dared me

Percy: so twice

Percy: I'm not very good at math

Annabeth: I've never heard these stories.

Percy: hoooo boi

Thalia: hehehe

Percy: ok, the first time you must remember I was 7

Reyna: Most 7 year olds know not to eat worms. 

Percy: I didn't

Percy: I was eating an apple and found a worm in it

Percy: and being the intelligent person I am, kept eating

Nico: Good source of protein.

Hazel:...

Thalia: now tell them about the second time

Percy: there's not much to tell

Percy: we found a worm, Thalia dared me to eat it, i ate it

Jason: Y'know, just because someone dares you to do something doesn't mean you have to do it

Reyna: Coward

Percy: my HONOR was at stake

Will: So was your reputation for having any brain cells

Will: Guess which one survived?

Thalia: its fine he didnt have ay brain cells you didnt learn anything untrue

Thalia: i just clarified the situation

Annabeth: I'm crying.

Annabeth: I haven't stopped laughing.

Annabeth: PERCY YOU DUMMY

Annabeth: Gahhh

Hazel: As entertaining as this has been, I have 'dumb online homework' to do

Hazel: Good-bye my friends.

Thalia: does that mean us gap-year takers and high school dropouts can chill

Reyna: Yes.

Thalia: yeet


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like with this fic I always post a couple chapters in quick succession and then abandon it for a while huh

Thalia: attention please everyone

Thalia: i have some very important news

Calypso: Are you pregnant?

Nico: Smh Thalia I thought you were more responsible than this

Thalia: ive never done a responsible thing in my life and you know it

Thalia: but no i am not pregnant

Thalia: WE ADOPTED A PUPPY

Reyna: *I* adopted a puppy

Reyna: You just happened to be present at the time

Thalia: yea well i take her on one of her three daily walks so i feel like i get partial ownership

Reyna: Maybe once you start paying for some of this

Will: Don't worry, once you two are married you can share the dog.

Thalia: shut up william

Will: ...my name isn't William

Thalia: wut?

Reyna: What is it short for?

Will: It's not

Will: My full name is just Will

Calypso: Who just names a baby 'Will' Not short for anything?

Will: /my-mommy-so-shut-the-####-up.johnmulaney.gif/

Thalia: ok wilfred

Nico: This is why you don't have any friends, Thalia

Hazel: Let's be nice

Thalia: absolutely not

Thalia: williard table

Piper: That's a really cute dog, Reyna

Piper: What's their name?

Jason: Thank you for getting us back on topic.

Reyna: Thank you!

Reyna: Her name is Arwen, she's a Tibetan Spaniel mix, thank you

Calypso: All we have here is Frank's cat.

Calypso: And he's really mean

Calypso: The cat to clarify

Frank: CHEESE PUFF IS NOT MEAN

Frank: HE'S OLD

Hazel: I've never met Cheese Puff :(

Frank: After this is over you can come meet Cheese Puff

Calypso: HE STOLE MY CHICKEN BREAST

Frank: YOU FORGOT TO FEED HIM

Calypso: He can do no wrong in Frank's eyes, Smh

Frank: Cheese puff is an angel

Hazel: Y'all have pets, meanwhile we just have Will's half-siblings

Nico: It's true

Nico: I think he has more mortal half-siblings than demigods

Nico: And that's saying something, Apollo has a LOT of kids

Will: I have FIVE half-sisters

Will: That's not THAT many

Thalia: thats a lot of sibling my dude

Will: Not for homeschoolers in Texas *shrugs*

Thalia: fair

Will: Thank the gods they were all homeschooled before now.

Will: Now they're always in my room doing their stuff.

Will: Because my stepdad is working from home now and in the home office. 

Thalia: good ol family slice of life from will pickle

Hazel: Is that a play on dill pickle?

Thalia: yea

Thalia: did it not work

Hazel: Not really, no

Thalia: *sigh*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named the dog after my late guinea pig and my love of LOTR. Also, as a homeschooler, I'm seeking to remedy the inaccurate portrayal thereof in fanfic.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I AM venting about my finals, and my love of the metric system and 24 hour time, and the fact that I've been stress-baking way too much. 
> 
> This goes out to RaptorStrikeTR, who told me to start a chapter with "fre sh a vaca do" and let what happens, happens. Thank you!

Leo: Fre sh a vaca do

Annabeth: How high are you?

Leo: About 5’4”

Frank: What does that say in real numbers I don’t speak American

Reyna: Ooooh burn

Nico: That’s a little over 160cm, Frank

Frank: Oh thank the gods someone here knows what he’s doing. 

Nico: *shakes head* Americans. 

Percy: What’s the big deal with the metric system anyways?

Thalia: its objectively better?

Nico: Everything is on systems of 10 so you don’t need to learn weird conversion factors?

Annabeth: It’s better for scientific measurements and almost everything else?

Reyna: Everywhere except America uses it?

Hazel: OK, but Reyna is the freak who keeps her phone on military time. 

Reyna: ITS WHAT THEY USE IN EUROPE

Thalia: youre still a sociopath

Thalia: also jasons taking a final and wants us all to shut tf up

Reyna: She’s paraphrasing

Nico: Tell him to turn his alerts off. 

Thalia:...

Thalia: he did

Leo: We’ve really gotten off topic. 

Hazel: The topic was “fre sh a vaca do”, tf is that supposed to mean?

Thalia: a moment of silence for the discontinuation of vine

Percy: alexa, this is so sad, play despacito

Annabeth: You think he’s joking but he just started playing that on his phone

Thalia: hello 911 i would like to report a murder in progress at the chase residence

Reyna: Press f to pay respects

Hazel: f

Thalia: f

Leo: f

Frank: f

Piper: f

Calypso: f

Nico: f

Will: f

Percy: f

Hazel: You can’t pay respects to yourself!

Percy: I just did

Hazel: Poor Jason

Annabeth: This group chat has three collective brain cells

Thalia: and jasons using all of them rn

Frank: What’s the final for?

Thalia: pHySiCs

Nico: Disgusting. 

Will: You’re not a man of science, I see. 

Nico: Shut up doc

Will: aww babe I thought you loved me

Thalia: quick they’re about to be disgusting everyone hide

Piper: Ya go and hide in a room with Reyna. 

Reyna: stfu

Annabeth: Every Time you do that you further her point. 

Reyna: It’s a shame I’m practicing social distancing because otherwise I’d punch you in the face. 

Thalia: week 1 of quarantine: the warrior queens are turning on each other

Reyna: “The warrior queens”? 

Thalia: thats you and annabeth

Thalia: cos youre pretty and commanding and also terrifying

Percy: Truth^

Reyna: How long has this nickname been around. 

Thalia: ngl since you dropped in at the amazons

Reyna: …

Reyna: I’ll take the compliment

Leo: ugh get a room

Jason: Please don’t, there are hardly any in this house. 

Percy: Ay look who finished his final!

Percy: Howd it go

Jason: OK

Jason: Either way it’s over. 

Jason: And I have to deal with your spam.

Hazel: Sorry.

Thalia: no we’re not

Jason: THAT I believe.

Thalia: ayyyy

Reyna: Siblings, amiright?

Will: Yep

Thalia: ye how are the sisters

Nico: They’re bored and doing a lot of baking which means we get fresh baked goods constantly. 

Nico: I taught them how to make ganache. 

Hazel: You never taught me how to make ganache…

Nico: You hate cooking.

Frank: I like cooking. 

Nico: I won’t teach you how to make ganache.

Frank: Heck

Will: That’s fine, Viola probably will

Reyna is that one of your sisters? 

Will: Yep

Will: Viola, Eliza (Elizabeth), Jenny (Jennifer), Chrissy (Chrysanthemum), and Tilda (Mathilda)

Thalia: Thalia that’s quite a variety, wilson

Will: I’m just going to ignore that until you stop

Thalia: i wont stop


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back! Bet you thought I'd abandoned this. And while my Reylo hyperfixation is a good crutch for anxiety, I miss my PJO peeps! Please enjoy. 
> 
> Tyrant's tomb was great but I'll miss the CHB saga. Rick is still a legend. 
> 
> Without further ado, a long-due update.

Frank: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Thalia: shut up its still november and god is still dead

Will: Stop complaining at least you haven't been with Nico

Will: He's been getting ready for Christmas since the day after Halloween

Nico: Shut up, I'm Italian. 

Nico: And at least I don't disturb the sanctity of Halloween. 

Hazel: What does being Italian have to do with anything?

Annabeth: Europeans LOVE Christmas. 

Percy: also italy is like mad catholic

Piper: Well duh they have the Pope there. 

Annabeth: TECHNICALLY the Pope lives in the Vatican, which is a separate country contained entirely within Rome. 

Calypso: *is confused* 

Jason: Check your DMs, I'll send you some articles. 

Calypso: My DMs with Jason are a veritable library of articles meant to explain something. 

Jason: I can stop if you want. 

Calypso: No they're helpful please keep going it. 

Thalia: beholdeth the two most polite people on the planet 

Thalia: its not even fun to roast jason anymore hes so nice

Reyna: Speak for yourself. 

Leo: I'm late to the party but as far as I'm concerned Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving

Leo: And of course we can still roast Jason

Leo: He knows we don't mean it

Hazel: I know what having siblings is like. Nothing can stop you from roasting them. Don't lie to us, Thalia. 

Nico: Oh?

Hazel: Oh, indeed. 

Piper: SPEAKING of Christmas, it's time we talked about the Secret Santa. 

Piper: This doesn't excuse you from getting gifts for your boyfriends or girlfriends, but we're doing a secret Santa for the people on this chat to reduce gift volume. 

Calypso: I'll be presiding over the randomizer and Hazel already gave me a scarf. 

Percy: you're accepting bribes?

Calypso: Shut up fish boy.

Calypso: It depends how good the bribe is. 

Thalia: *slides 20 dollars* how about now?

Calypso: Sorry, I'm still pairing you with Reyna. 

Jason: CALYPSO

Jason: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD BE UNBIASED

Calypso: Fine. 

Jason: Besides, didn't we say girlfriends still had to get stuff for each other?

Thalia: shut up and tell me how to add length to this essay

Reyna: 6 Sentence Shuffle

Thalia: sorry im not a dancer

Reyna: Ugh just give it a minute it's easier to explain in person

Annabeth: Change 'therefore' to 'because of this'. 

Percy: change 'is' to 'has a state of'

Thalia: y'all's suggestions are on opposite ends of the helpfullness spectrum but are both unhelpful

Thalia: but annabeth is still helpful so thanks

Annabeth: Happy to help. 

Jason: Thalia, do your own homework. 

Thalia: i was a tree for a decade, i deserve to blow off school work

Jason: Stop playing the 'i was a tree' card, it's been years

Thalia : >:(

Hazel: Aww grumpy Thalia. 

Thalia: ill crack your spine like a glowstick

Reyna: Nice threat, I'm stealing it. 

Thalia: ill crack your spine like a glowstick if you do

Nico: Happy Holidays, people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I am still taking prompts if you have a suggestion. I always appreciate your feedback.


End file.
